To hell with taking off shoes (updated)

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re missing some important items in your carry-ons.”

“You’re kidding, right? I read the TSA web site before I packed. I’ve got the –”

“Yes, you have the 3 ounce canister of pepper spray and the handcuffs. But nothing else meets the requirements.”

“Well, my husband has –”

“Ma’am, I’m going to level with you. The Glock 19 is a good choice, and I’m happy with that, but you only have one ten round magazine, and they’re all 95 grain loads. What if you have to shoot someone?”

“My husband has a 1911, a 357 backup, and –”

“We’re talking about you, ma’am. I’d like you to dig around in that bin over there and find some better ammo. We’ll even upgrade you to a 45 if you want. And the airline is offering free miles for passengers with body armor.”

“Well . . . three magazines? Annnd . . . a set of those cute pink throwing knives?”

“That will do. Have a safe flight.”


International flights: Not being able to read a fucking book for the last hour of a flight?

Fuck that.  Impeach the TSA. It’s time to drop the curtains on security theatre.

Also: A thread on Bruce Schneier’s site: link


Update: Looks like they’re letting people have stuff on their laps again.  Link.

Some Movies

The first: Avatar.  I read Ebert’s review of it last week, and he compared it to when he first saw Star Wars.  I can’t say it was that good, and certainly only time will tell if Avatar holds up, but I did enjoy the movie immensely.  Technically, very nice.  Plot-wise, about what you’d expect from “Dances with Wolves” set on an alien moon.  Avatar is breath-taking and thunderous and brimming with gob-smackingly beautiful special effects, and is only a little sickly sweet.  I do wonder if a sequel will be titled “Avatars.”

The second film was my son’s request this evening, and ironically enough, Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace.  I can’t say enough bad things about this movie and the two follow-ons that Lucas excreted, and if I start bad-mouthing it I won’t be able to stop, so I have to use someone else’s words.  After he first saw it, the Gibber remarked “That wasn’t a very good movie, daddy,” which made me smile.

The third: Yesterday my group at work saw Inglorious Basterds.  I have a peculiar kind of impatience when it comes to Tarantino films, namely that I don’t truly appreciate the fine dialog until the gore ramps up and reminds me how good the movie was up until the point that the blood started flying, and yes, I close my eyes during some of the really bad bits.  Overall: Meh. Bad people get what they deserve, so do some good people, and sometimes it just sucks to be in the line of fire.  I get it, but I got it like three movies ago, too.

Finally, I was sick earlier this week and spent a day or so at home.  I re-watched Star Trek, and it was still a blast.  I’m hoping the genre has been successfully rebooted, and I hope they re-make The Trouble with Tribbles.