Things that suck


Java updates that utterly break already teetering remote access utilities. The fact that these utilities were written in Java at all is mind boggling. I also reserve a special place in hell for the firmware engineers who thought they could write web pages and Java applets and then put them into flash that, if you fat-finger an update — in the vain hope that something or other got fixed — or experience a network blip at the wrong time, toasts your remote access to the machine, whereupon you get to drive to the datacenter and spend quality time with USB thumb drives. I had to make a DOS boot thumb drive today. What the hell?

IDEs written in Java.

Windows software that doesn’t uninstall, and that leaves behind little bits and pieces that throw up ads and nagware until you hunt them down and kill them with the registry editor. (None of this stuff is written in Java, as far as I know, but I am an inclusive kind of guy).

Drivers who nearly run you over in a crosswalk while talking on a cell phone. It looked like an Android phone, so there you go again: Java. It’s trying to fucking kill me and I hates it.

LFE (Looking For Editor)

When you say your editor has Emacs bindings, unless you’ve correctly implemented ^U don’t even bother to make the claim. You don’t get it, and you probably never will, and if you argue with me about it I will simply walk away, shaking my head. Also, if your editor automatically makes a blank line at the end of a file, I will find you and teach you the errors of your ways (hint: patching binaries with Emacs is not uncommon).

That is all.

[Epsilon, my favorite editor, hasn’t had an update since 2006 or so, and it’s getting a little long in the tooth. Also, it’s not totally wonderful on MacOS. It’s still perfectly serviceable, but I’d like to have some of the creature comforts of Sublime Text, or Komodo but none of them are really quite there. Surprisingly, XCode is the best one I’ve found, but it doesn’t grok ^U and probably can’t be made to, and this makes my fingers itch.]